I’ve had a couple of clients recently rant about how these *^%&! people in their lives are consuming their thoughts. “He just makes me so angry” and “I want to throw my cousin out of the house. I can’t deal with her any more” are just a few comments I’m hearing. Does the term “makes my blood boil,” sound familiar?
How can others make us feel so unglued? Sometimes just seeing “that person” in the same room can send us into an emotional frenzy.
Not all of the people in our lives are wonderful and supportive. Sometimes, we have the lovely opportunity to deal with some real stinkers (input your own word of choice).
If you could have your way, you would enjoy sending them on the next shuttle to the moon. Since that really is not an option, how do you deal with difficult people in a manner that is healthy for you?
Stuffing your emotions is not the answer to dealing with difficult people. Doing this will only result in harm to yourself. If you are a stuffer of your emotions I strongly encourage you to let them out. Stuffing your emotions can result in serious health problems – physical and emotional.
You must deal with these people in a manner that is healthy for you. If your emotions get a hold of you they can send you in a tailspin for days, weeks, months, even years.
Here are some great tools to help you stay in control of your life when you’re dealing with difficult people:
Stop and breathe. This helps you get centered, grounded and focused.
If the anger is intense, count backwards from 10 to 1. This is a great mind re-orienting tool.
Say out loud, or silently if others are around, “I forgive myself and I forgive others who have hurt me in the past so I can move into the future with a clean slate”.
Focus on one thing you like about that person. This may seem difficult at first. I had one client who liked her opponent’s teeth. So she focused on liking that.
Send this person love every day. At first it may feel like you’re sending them daggers but stay with it and keep focusing on something you like about him/her. Send love and forgiveness.
Each morning, start your day connecting with the Source of all-good. Breathe this connection in all through your body.
Be quiet for 5 minutes each morning and ask for guidance for the day.
Smile. You cannot be angry and smile at the same time.
If you really want to make someone wonder what’s up, laugh and keep laughing. If you stick with it long enough, the other person(s) will start laughing too. (This is great to do when your kids are fighting.)
Keep a gratitude journal. Each day write 10 things you are grateful for.
Write a letter to this person expressing everything you think and feel. Use any language you want. YOU NEVER GIVE THIS LETTER TO HIM/HER.
Read the letter out loud to yourself then burn it. This is very helpful in getting the anger out of your body. I had a client who said she wasn’t angry with her ex-husband. I said okay and asked her to do the exercise anyway and just see what happens. She wrote fifteen pages and told me she felt so much better afterwards. Today she has no problems with her ex-husband.
In raising your vibration, these problematic personalities will no longer be attracted to you. You’ll find they just go away. You’ll have relief and calmness restored in your life.
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Lisa Long is an author, speaker and success coach helping businesses and individuals overcome sabotaging obstacles so get the results they want and live the life they truly desire. She is available for workshops, keynote, team and one-on-one coaching. Contact Lisa at: 928-284-9285, lisa@yesicanwithaplan.com, www.YesICanWithAPlan.com